You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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