Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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