Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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