no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
