Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is Oprah even human
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
