trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
