i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
