That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
