Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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