hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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