You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
