Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
