I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
