I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
