We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
