no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
