why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
