He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
