I need help removing her.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
