This dress was meant to end up on your floor
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't think brook has ever known best
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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