I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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