Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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