4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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