she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
