The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
