I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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