Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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