We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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