You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I AM VODKA MAN
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
