I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
