We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
