i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
