Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
