Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
