It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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