evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
