i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
