Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
