I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
