he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
