East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
