Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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