Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
