I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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