So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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