yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
