We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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