There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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