A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
