I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Text me some of your sweat
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