Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
