I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I look better un-naked...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
