Say something about gay babies.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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