i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
